Help us because we can’t hold on
by Hhhhhheeeeeelloo1
Summary: Dean gets a call for Cas saying hes sorry and he didn’t mean to. He being Dean went to his hous enad found his boyfriend in a dangerous state. Everyone finds out about past secrets and Dean and Cas are right in the middle of the drama. Their love can survive anything but can everyone around them handle the truth?
1. Dean

-Disclaimer: I do not own supernatural or it's characters

Dean Whinchester never felt fear like this other then the day their house caught on fire their mother stuck in a coma his father slowly becoming a drunk and his baby brother becoming his world.

Of course his mother did wake up his father because better at least when his mom was around and his baby brother had a childhood he never really had. But right now know of that mattered. Not when the boy with messy black hair and big blue eyes was sobbing to him on the phone saying he was sorry over and over again and that he didn't mean to cut too deep.

"Cas?! Cas you gotta listen to me I'll be there as soon as I can just keep talking to me alright? I'm not gonna let you die! You ca- I cant loose you. Just keep talking to me I'm on my way"

As Dean assured his bee loving boyfriend he was on his way he ran down the stairs apparently waking everyone up.

"Dean? What the hell are you doing?" John asked Mary and Sam right behind him.

"I need the keys dad! I can't explain I ju-"

Dean wasn't surprised at the slap he received but he was surprised that his father had enough alcohol in his system to do it in front of Sam and Mary

"John!"

"Dad!"

Dean didn't have time for this he needed to get to his angle. He ran to the garage and grabbed his old bike that hasn't been used since he was allowed to drive baby to school and back. But he needed to get to Cas and he didn't have time for them.

Dean didn't know if they followed him didn't know what they were doing now he just needed to get to Cas.

"Keep talking to me blue you gotta keep talking to me" Dean croaked

He couldn't see the rain was falling hard and it was too dark.

"I'm sorry Dean. I didn't mean to I just-"

"I know Cas I know I forgive ya but you gotta keep talking to me babe"

Dean saw the lights on at the Novak house. He knew most of the family was here at least all of Cas's siblings and maybe so cousins. According to Cas his mother wanted the whole family to be together for Christmas.

Dean knew Cas would have a hard time. He knew he should have at least snuck into his room but he was selfish and wanted to be alone because of his own family problems.

Dean fell off his bike getting a face full of mud. He felt sharp rocks cut at his legs. Dean found himself at the Novak's family front door and he knocked harder and harder.

Michael opened the door looking annoyed and confused.

"Winchester? What do yo- Hey! What are you doing!"

Dean didn't have time for this he ran up the stairs to Cas's room. He saw Gabriel on his way up there and yelled at him to call 911

"Cas! Cas get away from the door!"

As soon as Dean heard the almost silent shuffle he kicked the door down. By now the whole Novak family was up and yelling about how the cops would be called or why on earth was Castiel friends with him. Until they saw Cas in his room.

Cas was on the floor his hair stuck to his forehead blood slowly coming down his arm. He was more pale than Dean had ever seen him. He looked at Dean and gave out a small croak

"I'm here Cas it's gonna be ok I'm here. Gabriel called 911 don't worry Cas it'll be alright" Dean crooned brushing Cas's hair with his hand.

As if on cue paramedics came in and as soon as they saw Cas action was taken.

Before long Cas was on his way to the hospital or ER Dean didn't hear everything has been a blur.

Everyone seemed to be in shock and then Gabriel opened his mouth. Before the candy crack head could speak headlights blinded them all for a moment.

"Dean! What on earth are you doing! Get in the car right now young man!" Mary hissed at her oldest

She knew with what happened with John they all needed to talk but he shouldn't have left. Not when she didn't know if he was ok.

"Mrs. W Deano just saved my baby brother I don't know how much you know but right now I think all of us should go meet Mother and Father and wait for news about Cassie".

Mary looked at her son and what she saw made her heart stop. He was covered in mud but she could still see blood on his legs and his shirt looked drenched with blood but she knew that the blood the the shirt belonged to the boy she thought of as a son. But what made her heart stop was her baby's eyes. They held so much pain for someone so young.

"Come here Dean we'll go see Cas and get your legs checked. Gabriel your welcomed to sit in the back with Sam."

Mary knew that Gabriel was the other Novak child that wasn't close with his parents and had left for a reason. She just wished the boy would come and see the youngest Novak who seemed to look less and less happy and time passed unless he was with Dean.

Gabriel gave a stiff nod following them to the car. He knew he would have to explain what happened because Dean looked ready to break down at any moment but even he didn't understand it all. Gabriel knew as soon as everything has sunken in Dean and Castiel had a lot of explaining to do. Especially since Dean didn't look surprised at was he saw.


	2. NotReady

-Disclaimer: I do not own supernatural or it's characters

Notes: alright so Gabe might see OOC in this chapter? I don't know but it's a emotional chapter sorta so I guess this is the Gabriel I wrote anyways leave a comment and tell me how you liked it or disliked it!

Dean knew once they arrived that he would gave to explain. He saw the look on his mother's face when Gabriel told them all he knew. He saw his baby brother the one he was supposed to protect from monsters and all things scary pale and give him a hesitant look. Dean never wanted this be never wanted his family to be in pain. He knew he should have told someone anyone about what him and Cas have done to help the pain but they were doing so good for months nearly a year. He thought it was over thought they did it they were healing without hurting their loved ones.

Because that went so well now that know. Dean took in a deep breath before opening his mouth ready to break the silence in the car.

"We thought we could do it alone. We didn't want to hurt any of you and I know I should have said something anything to anyone because then maybe Cas would've been better a long time ago and Gabe I'm sorry I know it's m-"

"Stop right there Deano it's not your fault I mean your the one who noticed something was wrong and he the same for you and you both are just such idiots who don't realize how much we care about you both and I'm sorry I mean I left- I left Cassie all alone where he had to deal with it all by himself and I'm sorry Squirrel I mean Cas he had hinted before I left and I just ignored it so I could get aw-"

"Now both y'all stop right there boys! It's not your fault Dean, baby you and Cas-I don't know the full story it I know you both felt alone and now your not because we'll help you both get through this. Gabriel don't you dare blame yourself either you and your family have been going through a rough patch and maybe not everyone will be happy with each other but that isn't your fault Gabe and your still young and you were a kid when you left and in the end we can't change the past all we can do do is be there for Cas and be there for you as well Dean." Mary gave the boys a stern looking making it clear that this was no argument and her words were final.

Dean let out a soft puff of breath leaning his head on his baby's window. Dean knew they have about 5 minutes before they reached Cas since they didn't have flashing lights or a loud siren and it raining meant they had to be extra careful. Dean couldn't help but wonder what happened with his dad when he was gone.

_Oh God_

His dad. Dean felt his lungs clench he could feel his heart speed up. Dean squeezed his eyes shut willling his brain to just _shut down _anything just to make these thoughts stop. Dean knew his mom and brother would find out now he just didn't know how much they knew.

Dean felt the car slow to a complete stop. Looking up he saw they had reached their destination with all the strength he had Dean got out of the ready to face anything if it meant the boy with blue eye the boy he loved would get to heal and live instead of trying to survive.

Dean froze when he felt a familiar hand grab his. Looking down he saw his baby brother hand then his arm up until he saw the face with those bangs that covered his eyes and hair that was starting to really grow. Of course he also saw his baby brothers eyes that would change colors sometimes he saw the eyes that could make him do about anything he saw the eyes that stared up at him with love and adoration that he didn't deserve.

But Dean was selfish and so for now he would pretend that he deserved Sam's love. Pretends he deserves the live of his brother that he swore to take care of that came home one to many times bruised up.

Dean gave a half smile to Sam but when he looked up at his mother he could feel his smile freeze in place. He knew from the look in her eyes that he would have to explain about Dad and what happened in the past.

Dean just wasn't sure if he was ready.


	3. Why

Disclaimer: I do not own supernatural or it's characters

Notes: ok so I'm it doing all the angels I mean I am but they won't all be like there there. So I have older brothers Gabriel, Michael,Lucifer, as an older cousin Balthazar, an older sister Anna, and maybe Samandriel as a younger cousin. Big personally I can't do more. I mean Chuck is the father duh and the mother, I haven't ecided yet but I'll take suggestions.

Dean wasn't sure what was happening. Apparently all of Cas's family was here. Or at least the ones who bothered to show for the family get together.

Sam seemed to be a nervous wreck. Knees bouncing nonstop. His eyes kept meeting his own.

Dean just knew that his brother needed to ask something. He just didn't know what.

With a groan, Dean let his head hit the wall. He closed his eyes, and tried to breath. He tried to ignore the sounds around him, but tried to stay alert all the same.

He just wanted to know if Cas was alive.

"Ho- did you know?"

Dean kept his eyes closed for a moment. The room has gone quite rather suddenly. He just knew who had to answer that question.

"Yeah. Yeah I knew."

He watched tiredly as their faces seemed to change.

"And you didn't tell us?"

Oh right, tell the family that either left Cas or ignored him? Or the people who bullied him in school?

"What exactly do you want me to say? That I saw this from a mile away? That this could have been stopped? That it's not your fault? That every word you say to him is another wound on his body? That he wouldn't be knocking on my window with tears running down his face because he didn't know what to do?"

Dean couldn't glare at anyone in the room. He couldn't even look at anyone. He was just so tired. All he wants is to be with Ca, and maybe have Sam, Gabe and maybe even his mom and be happy.

He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to be waiting here to find out if his boyfriend was alive or dead.

"You know that he calls each and every single one of you on your birthday still? Or he tries to send a card? Or that he shows up to every award assembly and every big speech when he has the money or isn't in school? That he will defend you until he's beaten to a pulp by some douche on the street that insults any of you? That he always finds a way to tell someone about his "amazing siblings", "wonderful parents", or his "lovable cousins"? I know that you all left for your own reasons, I respect that truly. But you all could have at least tried to show you cared about him at some point. He can't even remember the last time you smiled at him Michael! He can't remember the last time he got a hug from you Anna! Balthazar, he was in tears once when he realized that you haven't answered his calls for such a long time that he couldn't remember your voice unless he looked back at family videos!"

Dean didn't realize that he was looking at them now. He didn't realize that now he was glaring.

Gabriel was looking at him now. A question in his eyes.

"You didn't say my name Dean"

Oh, he actually thought he made Cas cry? He nearly did but it never happened.

"You? Gabe, you made mistakes that's for sure but we all have. You still answer when he calls even if you don't talk to him for long, when you do see him you do hug him, he nearly cried when you left but everyone leaves the nest at some point. I know that most of you probably do care about him. But he doesn't know that."

Dean really couldn't look at their faces anymore. Couldn't stand to see the indifference on some faces, the teary eyes on others, the pain in the people Cas was once closest to.

Before he could leave to at least get a soda or something from a vending machine a doctor walked in.

"You must be the Novak group. Well I won't beat around the bush. Castiel is alive, he'll most likely sleep for a while but he'll wake up and his wrists may be sore and he'll have to be careful with the stitches for a while but physically he should be fine. But I do strongly suggest he see a therapist, perhaps group therapy at some point. I also must tell you that he will need to be under suicide watch. If anyone has any questions or would like to talk over details please contact one of the nurses to set up an appointment. Now he's in room 49 on the second floor, please only five visitors at a time."

Once the doctor left no one moved. It seemed like everyone was waiting for someone to make the first move.

Dean glanced at Gabriel, asking a silent question.

"Alright I think all aunts and uncles should take those who can't drive home to get some rest and we'll figure out visiting tomorrow. I think Dean, Luci, Mikey, and myself should get to see Cassie as being the one who found him and the three older brothers. Mrs. W, if you and Sam could wait for me and Dean? And Ann, Mother, Father I don't know if one of you wants to go in with us or if you all want to go in after us."

Mary has given Gabriel a nod in reply to his question before telling Sam softly that they'd visit Cas tomorrow.

Gabriel was still looking at his parents and his sister in silence. Everyone else in the Novak family had left.

"Your mother and I will be visiting Castiel tomorrow. Mary, I'm sorry to ask but could you take Anna home for us? We didn't bring our car and I'd rather not have her be in a car with only the twins, they tend to fight rather often." Chuck kept his voice soft, he still hasn't processed everything that has happened.

"Of course I'll take Anna home. Me and the boys will be stopping at your home later tomorrow probably around lunch if that's ok? I think our families have a lot to talk about."

Chuck gave her a single nod before following his wife out to the front of the hospital.

"I'll let you five go see Cas. Me and Sammy will be waiting in the car." Mary said looking at Dean, Gabriel, and Anna.


End file.
